I wish there was anything I could do, anything, that would make you reconsider.  Every time I've tried to do what was right, I have been made to feel such pain.  I tried to do right by my daughter, and I've been made to feel the consequences almost every day since.  I tried so hard to do right by you and Savannah.  I tried to be the model husband, and despite some temporary glitches, I think I succeeded.  But here I am. 
I love every part of you.  I always have.  Why else would I be so comfortable doing some of the things I did?  I loved everything, from your hair to your toenails.  I marveled at every curve, adored your tiger stripes and the almost invisible mark of Savannah's birth. I loved how it felt to lay in your arms after a passionate coupling, to feel your breath, the rise and fall of your lungs, the softness of your embrace.  I loved playing WoW with you, especially when you got your game rage on.  I loved the notes I used to get and the every night, it felt like the first time we slept together.   I don't know if you care, but at NO time did I ever think of you as less than a goddess.  I may have spouted off at the mouth when I got frustrated, always combined with the fact I was exhausted and in pain, and for that, I am sorry.  It was a poor way to express myself, and though it was fueled by the scars of my past, I had just managed to correct that when the rug got pulled out from under me.  Afterwards, I did everything I could for you.  I tried to do the best with what I had to work with, and changed jobs as quickly as I could.  I would still do anything for you, if only you would let me. 
I don't know if you ever read these, but I have to write them all the same.  I love you, and the pain I feel at everything has nowhere else to go.  I have never felt this way for anyone else.  I just wish you could say the same.  I wish you knew what it felt like to be so completely in love with someone, only to lose them in such a way.  All the times I expressed how much I loved you, how beautiful you are.  All the times those words were returned in the form of what I had done wrong.    Every time it hurt, more because I thought I knew why you were doing it.  In the long run, though, I really don't.  I've always accepted your imperfections, and loved you more for them.  I've never been thought of in the same way.  It would be nice to think I was worth it.  If you had let me, if you had noticed, I was learning too, and was always working on making things better for us in any way I could.  If you had helped, given me some better direction, I would have listened, and maybe you wouldn't blame me for whatever you blamed me for. 
I want this torture to end. I want to be happy, but I know that without you and Savannah with me, I could never be.  If that is what the Universe wants out of me, then that is the one thing I can't accept.  All I have wanted since meeting you, is to be the man that you love.   I can't explain why I was so captivated.  It wasn't because of my age, because I never really even pay attention to that.  I know I would have fallen for you no matter how old I was, because I felt a connection with you that goes beyond age or looks or time, one that spoke to my soul.  I've never told anyone the things I've told you.  Never expressed to anyone the feelings I've confessed to you.  From the moment I saw your pictures, I was entranced.  I never would have thought I would even be able to talk to you, much less marry you and have a child.  I never lost that.  I never will, just so you know.  Hurt me if you must, but you can't make me hate you. 
     You are the only person I've ever felt close enough to that I could really be myself.  All the times I was touching your back, those moments where we were playing WoW or taking pictures or having incredible sex. that was the real me.  It was all I wanted to be.  It is still.  I know you may never read this.  I still don't know if you had a moment where you were remembering us in a good way, or just trying to hurt me more.  I've never, ever, wanted to hurt you.  I may have run my mouth, but I was hurt and heartbroken when I did, and couldn't deal with it.    I wish I could say I'm handling things now, but that would be a lie.  I don't go anywhere, or really do anything any more.  All I do is think of you and Savannah, the times we shared, and cry.  I write poems and letters, because I can't do anything else - it's the only way I can express myself.  I do my job, and try to distract myself a bit here and there, but it never really works. You stirred a part of my soul that nothing else has ever managed to touch, and nothing will again.  I told you the truth from the start - there was only one spot left in my heart, and I gave it to you.  The only room I have left is for you and Savannah.  Without my wife and my baby, I have nothing left.  Just coming home to you gave me the strength to face another day.  Being with you and Savannah was the only joy I have felt for years, and even the simplest things made me happier than I could describe.  I just wish you would have let me continue being a husband and father to you and Savannah.  It was the only time in my life I ever felt complete.  You were the one.   Savannah is my treasure, and ever since she was born, I wanted to have another with you.  I wish we could.  
If you do read this, I hope you do it alone, and that you don't laugh or hate me for it.  I'm just feeling particularly alone, and am contemplating my own worth, and that of staying here. Kiss Savannah for me. 
I'll love you always,
Your Michael